Suffering Through This Pain.

Well it hasn't even been a week since I got my braces put on and I'm miserable!! I used the dental ortho wax that they gave me at first and all was good, 'cept I looked like I had big blobs on my teeth and I was about to run out of the stuff. A friend of mine got her braces put on a few months ago and she suggested that I stop using the wax. She said the sooner I quit using it, the blisters will come & go and my mouth will get used to them sooner. So I took her advice...

Needless to say, I have 6 blisters in my mouth and they are very painful!! I have barely been able to eat due to the rubbing & cutting. Being in pain really takes a lot out of ya. I've been trying to stay on my exercise routine & push myself to keep going, but it's sooo hard when all I wanna do is lay around, take pain meds and sleep!!

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm hoping the tenderness will have eased with the rise of the sun. I'm not a baby but this has been unbearable!!

It is hard to be beautiful <3

Happy Valentine's Day :)
This will truly be one I'll remember forever!! ...today I got my braces put on and they said I'll have to wear them for 18 months. They are very weird feeling, to say the least!!!! They don't "hurt" like the spacers did, thank God!! I feel slightly embarrassed at wearing them, though-/ because I am an adult. This is something I've wanted for sooo long, though. I hate my smile/ my teeth. I've always been self-conscious about my crooked teeth and I tried to hide it. I'm tired of that!! I just want straight, pretty teeth! It's time!!! Between working out all the time & trying to get six pack abs, and now this ...."it is hard to be beautiful!"

Disaster week!

It's Sunday, day 7 of my week, and I think I've eaten fast food at least once every single day!!!! Ughhh!!! I'm not making excuses but I am blaming my weakness on my pain. My mouth has been sore all week from these spacers and I have not been on top of my game. I have still done Jillian 4 times so far-/ today will make 5...which is what Jillian recommends, but my eating habits have to get back on track if I am ever going to get on a scale again. Maybe it's all in my mind but when I was clothes shopping yesterday, although the shorts I bought were a size 1, I saw nothing but disappointment in my mid section. I wish the "six pack" wasn't so hard to obtain!!!! :(

Last night...

I had just woke up after about an hour and a half of sleep (it was around 1am) ...coulda been the pain in my mouth, or maybe it was the urge to pee... Or possibly it was the glow of the kitchen light shining into my bedroom...
I get up...half asleep, bumped into my door frame trying to make my way to the bathroom... Glanced into the kitchen where I saw the backside of my hubby ..."you're supossed to be using that little lamp if you need light," I said. (I'm on an energy saving frenzy after the shock of my last electric bill) ...he jumped...startled to hear another voice in the middle of the night. I proceeded to the bathroom, in which I barely made it before I peed all over myself... The hubby follows. As I was making my way back to the bedroom, still half asleep & delirious... He was grinning ear to ear & he guides me to the kitchen to show me the good deed he had just done. He went to the grocery & bought me applesauce, jello, cups of peaches and about a bazillon yogurts, all varieties... All just for me because my mouth hurts so badly!!
...how sweet :D Thought I'd share!

Every day is different.

Some days I am so optimistic & enthusiastic, and some days I just don't have it in me. I get weak. I wonder why some people have to struggle day in & day out to get the body they want when some people don't have to work at it at all. It's just not fair.... But that's life. Either let it get you down or you do something about it.

Yesterday was a great day for me. I saw my orthodontist & I got my spacers put in, and I'm getting braces next week! I am toooo excited! I am 31 years old and I've wanted my teeth fixed for so long now. As a child my parents took me to an orthodontist, but I knew they really didn't have the money so I said no I don't want them. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, and maybe I was, but now I'm ready to get this smile taken care of. I'm tired of always hiding my teeth and my smile. I hate the way my teeth look. My husband said he will do whatever he has to do to make that payment each month. (braces are SO expensive and my dental insurance doesn't cover because I'm over 19 years old) My husband is an auto body repair tech. He does body work for a living, he does body work & paints on the side. He works his full time job, he works part time whenever he wants at another body shop some evenings & on weekends, and he does side work for people. He know how bad I want my teeth fixed and he said he will do what it takes to make this happen for me. He's so good to me :D

So anyway, yesterday (and some today) my mouth was extremely sore from the spacers. There is so much crowding in some areas of my mouth, I can barely floss between... Now I have these huge spacers in... OUCH!! So between the pain, nervousness, anxiety, stress, and feeling like the day was completely messed up cuz I went into work late, I over-ate badddd!! My Loseit is RED yesterday and I don't like it. I'm up over 800 cal for the week and that makes me sad :( its hard to get motivated again when you're so disappointed in yourself, but I hope I can find it in me to do good today, and hopefully I'll see Jillian Michaels when I get home.

Just a little of what is on my mind today...

It's been a long road thus far on my weight loss journey. I started Jan. 1, 2011 & I am still not where I want to be. I'm not discouraged nor am I being negative about what I have accomplished. I have lost a little over 20 lbs., and as one of my Loseit friends pointed out to me, that is equal to the size of an average vehicle tire. WOW!! Coincidentally, last night my husband and I were shopping for tires for his S-10 pickup truck. Out of curiosity I picked one up... & I smiled. Ya see, I am not discouraged at all. The weight that I'm at not is what most strive to be and I do not feel that I am fat. My goal now during this part of my journey is to maintain healthier eating habits & tone what I have. I want six pack abs. I want every ounce of back fat to vanish. That, I know, doesn't come easy, but every time I workout to Jillian Michaels' 6 week 6 pack or The Shred dvd's, I know I am getting that much closer to where I want to be. I will keep going.