Trying to get back on track.

I don't know why I am having such a hard time these days. I can't seem to stay motivated and all I want to do is eat. I can hardly find the time to workout, and I have no energy. I think it's stress. I have so much on my mind right now my head is spinning. I hope I can start anew and stick with it starting tomorrow. Goodnight friends & happy losing.

Starting over again.

Today I was good... Until I got home, ate a bowl of vegetable soup & a bologna & cheese sandwich on wheat... Not so bad huh? ...well then I had an urge for something sweet so I went to the pantry & found the brand new pack of Oreo's. Need I say more??? ...I've reallllyyyy got to start keeping fruit around the house again & 0 calorie sweetener packets to add to my water to satisfy my sweet tooth. I've been badddd!! I just told my husband he has to finish the pack tonight or hide them from me. I LOVE Oreo's!!! :(
So anyway... The sharp pains I was having in my right thigh for 2 days has subsided so I'm back to the grind starting tomorrow. I just need to find my motivation!!

Here we go again

I was right in the middle of doing Jillian's 6 week 6 pack and BAM... I started getting a sharp pain in my right thigh. I don't know what caused it, or how to make it stop but it hurts & I'm still limping this morning!!! ...it's not gonna be a good day :(

Can't catch a break.

I vow to get back to the workout queen, Ms. Jillian Michaels. I work out one night, only to wake up the next morning with a stiff neck. Guess I slept wrong. Ughh I don't know why everything seems to be going wrong with me lately?!?

One step forward and two steps back.

As soon as I feel like I've got a handle on my diet & exercise, something happens that sets me back to square one-/ or maybe even negative one! Last week I was unable to exercise at all, and I probably ate fast food 6 or 7 times. It wasn't what the doctor ordered but I was listening to my body and trying to do what I felt was best.

Stress can cause some crazy things. I've had a lot going on... From my father-in-law being diagnosed with lung cancer, to my mom being in the hospital 4 days & 3 nights because of a fall that left a huge gash on her shin that became infected. I've had to deal with people not paying us our money, the office staff/ cheer coach at my daughters school being idiots, posting 6 things on Craigslist all at once & a million people calling (I brought that on myself), a chick that I work with running her mouth about me on Facebook & expecting me not to say anything-/ NOT HAPPENING! -/dealing with a local furniture store in which we bought our daughter a new bedroom suit & when it arrives, two of the pieces are the totally wrong style, 1 piece is damaged and 1 is missing...& after a second delivery we are now left with two damaged pieces & 1 wrong piece and are being told that they are on back order so it will be 2-3 weeks to swap them out!

...the list goes on & on
I kept a severe headache for about a week and even Excedrin Migraine wouldn't completely knock it. I was having lightheadedness & dizzy spells when I would stand up, and I felt sick to my stomach. There was noooo way I could have exercised... I just took it easy, tried to calm down & not dwell on everything going on in my life. I made a dr appointment for Friday but cancelled it because my symptoms were subsiding. I know it was stress, and as things start to come together I am feeling better and better. I hope to get back on track starting tomorrow.

Out of control diet.

Put a cheesecake in front of me & I promise I won't touch it. "Ahh come on, only one piece..." No, I don't need it. "One piece won't hurt you." No, I'm fine. "You deserve it. You know you want it. You'll burn that off in nothing flat. Come on..." Oh okay, one piece. And I eat it. I eat one piece and I want more. It eats at me until I eat more. I continue to eat on the cheesecake until its gone... Not in one sitting, but every time I am slightly hungry.. Because I have tasted it & now I want it, I crave it... I know its bad but I can't help it. I have no willpower at this point. It's kinda like a shark that has tasted blood...
It wasn't cheesecake, this was an example. This is what I battle beneath my own skin. I have the strongest willpower until I give in... & then I can't quit. I need someone to finish off the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer please... Before I do.

Enough is never enough

No matter how long I work out each day, and no matter which works I do or how much sweat drips off of me... I am never satisfied. I always "regret" when I lay down to sleep. I never feel like I've done enough. I don't know why I always feel this way; why I am so hard on myself... I have come a long way & I should be happy with myself but I stay mad at myself instead. I set goals that are uncontainable and way out of reach. I overdo it until I'm so sore I can hardly move. I go back & forth in my head about should I quit or not quit?!? I really feel like a basket case these days :(