Juice Fast: Day 3

I can't distinguish whether or not this is a stomach virus or if I'm that famished from having no solid food. I got up weak & dizzy and sick to my stomach. My ribs almost hurt! I spent a few minutes hugging the toilet bowl...gagged a little but nothing came up. I then laid on the cold bathroom floor for a few minutes until I was able to make it to the kitchen to grab my juice & water and now I'm on the couch. I'm thinking I haven't been drinking enough juice and my body is going into starvation mode. Today I plan to up my intake and see how that makes me feel. I've read up on this juice fasting and one of the bonuses is that it gives you energy. I'm sure not feelin it. I hope I can get this program tweaked just right because I do not like how I feel now.

Juice Fast: Day 2

Today was a little more difficult to stick to my guns. I was off work, & away from my friend & her willpower, not to mention I had full reign of the refrigerator if I chose to. I slept in, drank a glass of juice & headed off to my grandmas funeral service water bottle in hand.

After the service, my daughter & I went to a friends house to visit for a few hours. During that time, I watched one of her children eat Pringles & gummy worms. My friend was eating summer sausage, crackers & cheese and was feeding them to her niece also. My stomach growled & I wanted it. It's a wonder my mouth wasn't watering. There I had a very hard time.

Once we got home my husband & daughter heated up leftover chili from a couple nights ago & I proceeded to make my juice. Tonight's recipe consisted of celery, carrots, romaine lettuce, kale & grapes. The grapes & celery seem to over power the other stuff. It's not too bad.

Overall I'm doing really well & I feel ok. I did get a headache earlier at the funeral home but I know that was from crying. I tried to let it ride without medication but it was too severe so I took two Ibuprofen. I'm feeling fine now, just seem to be colder than usual & I can honestly say I'm still hungry. I think seeing all that food today & seeing them eat chili.... BUT... As much as I wanted to, I didn't have the hubby stop at a restaurant on our way home. I knew that I would feel guilty & hate myself later!
I CAN DO THIS!!

Juice Fast: Day 1

A friend of mine starting this juice fast 3 days ago & we have been talking about it a lot. I watched one video on YouTube & decided to give it a shot myself. So last night I went to the grocery & bought all kinds of fruits & veggies including celery, carrots, KALE (yes, kale), a cucumber, bananas, strawberries & a bag of mixed fruit.

My concoction:
Using a blender (I do not own a fancy juicer), I ground up a handful of kale, quite a few carrots, a few slices of cucumber, several pieces of celery, a few strawberries & two apples. Once blended fully, I poured the liquid through a strainer to keep out most of the pulp. Although the pulp contains fiber, fiber is not ideal for fasting.
My juice turned out a orangey-green color. It was not the best thing I ever tasted, but it was drinkable. The little bit of fruit added just enough sweet to help mask the veggies. I was pleased.

How did I do?:
Today was Thanksgiving Pitch-In at work...basically a pot luck dinner. My friend & I stuck to our guns although the food looked & smelled sooo good. We went for a walk at lunch to get out of the office for a few and avoided the "food areas" whenever possible. The food itself wasn't too big of a deal to pass up, just because I'm weird when it comes to eating food that other people cook. You never know how clean they are, if they wash their hands, etc. Also, I do not like eating food that's been sitting out for hours. That scares me!! So really, I wouldn't have eaten anyway.

Overall, the juice kept me full. I sipped on some most of the morning, and then finished off my bottle (I forgot to keep track of how many ounces I had) before I left work. I'm sipping on my dinner, now. It's not that bad.

Goals:
My ultimate goal is to lose weight. I think I've packed on a few lbs since I've been eating anything & everything and barely exercising. I hope that this will give me the initial boost to get back on track and back down to where I was.
On the plus side-- I'm eating fresh raw veggies and I NEVER DO THAT! I've never eaten kale in my life & I'm not a fan of celery (I like it in turkey dressing yummm lol). Carrots are good for your eye sight but due to my braces, I can't just eat a carrot right now. This way, I'm getting lots of nutritious veggies & fruits that I wouldn't normally get. I'm pretty happy about that!

My fears:
One word. Constipation!
We'll see....

Another plus:
Energy & I need it!! Since eating garbage recently & seldom getting any exercise, I feel sluggish & fatigued all the time. I frequently take naps after work & I have a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. I even resorted to a 5 hr energy drink to get me through the day last week. That's sooo unhealthy!! So I'm definitely looking forward to increased energy. Maybe the boost of energy will get me back on a strenuous workout regimen...but not while juice fasting, of course.

I plan to blog each day of my journey & hope to make it 7 full days...til Thanksgiving :)

Healthy choice.

Today I went to the Kentucky State fair... Now we all know the fair is known for its fried, fattening foods... A Krispy Kreme doughnut burger, fried Oreos, funnel cakes, Pork Butt on a stick??!!?? Geeeezzz... It's everywhere you look. Now most of that is avoidable for me, as FRIED OREOS don't even sound good!! Yuckkk!!! BUT... With all the smells of food at every turn, it's almost inevitable that you're gonna eat something terrible... & probably "think" you're hungry when you're not! However, I'm actually pretty proud of myself! My family & I ate lunch at the fair, & my food of choice was a grilled chicken sandwich. I would have much rather had my husbands 1/2 lb cheeseburger & fries or my daughters chicken tenders basket, but I did good. AND I felt good about myself afterwards :) its a great feeling!

Accountability is the key to success.

I have been slacking for far too long. I feel like I've gained a few lbs back but I'm scared to weigh. I have used one excuse after another, but my most recent being not just an excuse, but a "reason." I sprained my ankle several days ago and I've had to lay around with my foot propped up. I forced myself to get up & get something accomplished today. Today is a brand new day & it's never too late to start over. It begins here... Blogging... Every day... Accountability is the key to success!!

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

I have now told 3 people about my food addiction. It felt good to just let it all out, and although they can not relate, they have been helpful in listening & helping to talk me through it. I just wanted to hear that I'm not crazy. My husband has offered to find a therapist or someone in this area that I can talk to. I'd rather sort through it on my own first. I don't want to sit down & tell a perfect stranger that I hate my body & I that I sneak food, or that I can eat an entire large pizza by myself if no one is watching. It's embarrassing and it brings tears to my eyes to talk about it. The guilt, the lack of control, the shame... I don't want to talk to someone I don't know. Not now. Not at this point.

I think my eating problems stem from my childhood. I was made to clear my plate at every meal. I could then have a big bowl of ice cream drowned in strawberry syrup with sprinkles on top. Food was a reward. I was also made to eat when I was full, just to get the ice cream I wanted. There were times when my mom would cook pot roast or something I didn't like. I would get a small portion because I knew I had to eat it all, I was hungry, I had to eat something. I remember thinking, •what am I gonna eat?" I know it's healthy to make your children try a variety of foods, but if they truly try them & don't like them, don't force them to eat it!!

There were nights when my mom would be taking a bath & I'd be hungry because we had one of those meals I didn't like. I'd ask my dad if I could make a sandwich. He'd let me but I had to be sneaky about it & not tell my mom. I had to make sure I put the bread away just right, hide my paper plate in the garbage, & clean up any bread crumbs so she wouldn't know.

My childhood was not terrible & I'm not like poor poor pitiful me. I know that my parents did not think they were doing anything wrong, & maybe with a different kid with different brain makeup he or she would be fine. I do not blame them, but I do think that is why I am the way I am today. It's always been there. It's just gotten worse as I've started to diet & limit what I eat. It seems that when I do that I crave food that much more. I eat that much more & then I'm disgusted with myself. It's a vicious cycle.

Putting these words down helps get all these emotions off my chest. Food & I have a love late relationship. I love food & I hate it. I thank you two my wonderful husband & my two best friends for listening & trying to understand my constant struggle. I hope that they help me resist my temptations as I want to beat this... On my own... Without the guidance of a complete stranger with a degree.

It's been a while.

I never like to title my blog until after I finish, as there is no telling where my mind may take me. I begin here with "it's been a while," as it has been some time since I've put meaningful thoughts down, and it's been some time since I've done a meaningful exercise. I don't know what my problem is!!! I want the results but I don't want to work for it!! Why is it that some people can be so thin & eat all the time? Why do I go to bed hungry? It makes me want to cry!

I know everybody is different. Genetics. Gods plan. I get that. I just get so discouraged & I give up. I don't see the results fast enough & I quit. There aren't enough hours in the day. I am absolutely sick of walking. I am burnt out on P90X. Jillian Michaels can kiss my ass!! I need a workout partner & no one is committed! I need to quit feeling sorry for myself & change it but I can't seem to get out of this rut!

I posted something on my Loseit the other day about thinking I have a eating disorder. Not one person commented on it. I was not seeking attention but I guess I just needed someone to talk to... Someone that might understand. I do not know what is wrong with me but I am hungry ALL OF THE TIME!!! I think about food 99% of the time. I over-eat. I love food. I never think I've ate enough. I finish my plate...always... I finish my husbands food. I hide that I'm eating sometimes. I sneak & get something out of the pantry & shove it in my mouth. I do not purge. I could never do that. I just don't know why I am this way with food & I think it has to be some sort of eating disorder!!!! There is something wrong with me!!!! I'm never going to lose these last few pounds or have the body that I want with this constant battle everyday. It's so hard!!!