On fire!

I'm still ecstatic about Dave Ramsey's get out of debt snowball program! My husband & I started watching every penny spent since Dec. 13th & our first change after just two days was to quit making the coke machine guy RICH while making us poor! My husband, bless his heart, is ADDICTED TO MOUNTAIN DEW! And, he's a smoker so he's always thirsty! In just TWO days, he spent $10 in the coke machine at his work. 20 oz bottles of Mt.
Dew at $1.25 each. Neither him or myself was very happy about that so that changed real quick!

Will my husband switch to water? That would be ideal, but no. Not yet. I don't know if ever, as much as I'd like for him to, but for now we have decided to QUIT making the coke machine owner RICH while making ourselves poor. At first my hubby had said that he saw the 6 pack of 24 oz bottles on sale at Kroger 2/ $9. That is not the best deal they ever offer, but you do the math. It's cheaper than $1.25 each, and they're 4 oz bigger! We bought two 6 packs.
Next, I needed to know that he wouldn't drink them all up quicker just because he knew we had them. I asked that he please try to only drink 3 a day. We're still working on that, but I think he's doing ok. Since buying those two 6 packs of Mt. Dew, our grocery store had them on sale two weeks in a row for 4/ $11. We bought 8 6-packs, twice. That's $44 in Mt. Dew, plus the $18 the first go round. In my opinion, that's INSANE!!! But... as insane as it is, it's still cheaper than $1.25 each from the coke machine.

To keep a watchful eye on sales, I installed Krogers mobile app on my phone & I'm checking it weekly. I now know that a new ad goes out on Sundays. I never paid attention before. I can compare what's on sale to what coupons I have, therefore saving money. Extreme couponing is my goal!

Cigarettes. Expensive. He smokes Marlboro lights, not the cheap stuff. I wish he could get away with the cheap ones but I agree with why he don't make the switch. If the cheap ones taste half as bad as they smell, I wouldn't smoke them either! Sooo.. He's been buying a pack a day. We all know that's the most expensive way to buy cigarettes, but I guess it doesn't seem as bad as dropping $40something dollars all at once. And, I never wanted him to buy a carton because I have hopes that he will quit-/ but like the Mt. Dew, he's ADDICTED & I don't see that happening any time soon. The only thing I know to do is try to save what we can now. I signed up for Marlboro's website to get carton coupons & he is already on their mailing list. I also had him buy a carton. $47 later...uhh yeahh... Ouch! Heck, neither of us know the cheapest place to buy a carton yet but we're now keeping our eyes open!
The second go-round, he did much better! He chose the Marlboro Special Blend instead and saved about $10. Too bad my coupons haven't come in yet, but still... Not bad! Yeah it may be floor scrapings but really when u think of it, all of it is bad for you & just plain nasty so what does a little dirt hurt? ...just my opinion!

In conclusion... I haven't crunched many numbers yet, but I do know we have saved a substantial amount of money just by making those two changes. That has to make some difference. It's two days from the end of the month so I can't wait to see what we spent the second half of December, and maybe I'll notice some other things that can be changed to save more.

Until then, my final thoughts: Dave Ramsey said!!!

Being frugal

So far my entire blog has been about my constant struggle with food. Just to shake things up a bit, I thought I'd tell everyone what's been on my mind these days. Dave Ramsey. That's right, the financial expert. I started listening to him on YouTube & I find him to be very likable & interesting & I think he has a lot of knowledge when it comes to managing your finances. I'm all about saving money! I want to get out of debt & become a millionaire! I'm going to follow Dave Ramsey's "baby steps" to reach my financial goals! I'm sooo excited about this!

On Thursday my husband & I started the envelope system to see where we are spending for 30 days so that we can create a budget. Today, I clipped coupons & planned our meals for the next two weeks, wrote a grocery list & went to the store and STUCK TO IT! I almost picked up a container of ice cream (that I didn't need) but I changed my mind because its not a necessity. I only bought the things on my list, I used my coupons, saved some money & also saved time in the store because I knew exactly what I wanted & didn't need to look around. I'm pretty happy about that!
Lets see how the next few weeks go with creating my budget ;)

Juice Fast: Day 3

I could not continue to feel so awful. It is not worth it!! I've lost about 2 lbs. over the last two days which isn't bad but I'm sure paying for it. I'll continue to incorporate the juice, maybe to replace a meal here or there but not solely. It's Saturday! I'm off work for 4 days. I don't want to feel like shit & I want to be able to try out this new gym that's close to me. I can't do that if I can't get off the couch!

Juice Fast: Day 3

I can't distinguish whether or not this is a stomach virus or if I'm that famished from having no solid food. I got up weak & dizzy and sick to my stomach. My ribs almost hurt! I spent a few minutes hugging the toilet bowl...gagged a little but nothing came up. I then laid on the cold bathroom floor for a few minutes until I was able to make it to the kitchen to grab my juice & water and now I'm on the couch. I'm thinking I haven't been drinking enough juice and my body is going into starvation mode. Today I plan to up my intake and see how that makes me feel. I've read up on this juice fasting and one of the bonuses is that it gives you energy. I'm sure not feelin it. I hope I can get this program tweaked just right because I do not like how I feel now.

Juice Fast: Day 2

Today was a little more difficult to stick to my guns. I was off work, & away from my friend & her willpower, not to mention I had full reign of the refrigerator if I chose to. I slept in, drank a glass of juice & headed off to my grandmas funeral service water bottle in hand.

After the service, my daughter & I went to a friends house to visit for a few hours. During that time, I watched one of her children eat Pringles & gummy worms. My friend was eating summer sausage, crackers & cheese and was feeding them to her niece also. My stomach growled & I wanted it. It's a wonder my mouth wasn't watering. There I had a very hard time.

Once we got home my husband & daughter heated up leftover chili from a couple nights ago & I proceeded to make my juice. Tonight's recipe consisted of celery, carrots, romaine lettuce, kale & grapes. The grapes & celery seem to over power the other stuff. It's not too bad.

Overall I'm doing really well & I feel ok. I did get a headache earlier at the funeral home but I know that was from crying. I tried to let it ride without medication but it was too severe so I took two Ibuprofen. I'm feeling fine now, just seem to be colder than usual & I can honestly say I'm still hungry. I think seeing all that food today & seeing them eat chili.... BUT... As much as I wanted to, I didn't have the hubby stop at a restaurant on our way home. I knew that I would feel guilty & hate myself later!
I CAN DO THIS!!

Juice Fast: Day 1

A friend of mine starting this juice fast 3 days ago & we have been talking about it a lot. I watched one video on YouTube & decided to give it a shot myself. So last night I went to the grocery & bought all kinds of fruits & veggies including celery, carrots, KALE (yes, kale), a cucumber, bananas, strawberries & a bag of mixed fruit.

My concoction:
Using a blender (I do not own a fancy juicer), I ground up a handful of kale, quite a few carrots, a few slices of cucumber, several pieces of celery, a few strawberries & two apples. Once blended fully, I poured the liquid through a strainer to keep out most of the pulp. Although the pulp contains fiber, fiber is not ideal for fasting.
My juice turned out a orangey-green color. It was not the best thing I ever tasted, but it was drinkable. The little bit of fruit added just enough sweet to help mask the veggies. I was pleased.

How did I do?:
Today was Thanksgiving Pitch-In at work...basically a pot luck dinner. My friend & I stuck to our guns although the food looked & smelled sooo good. We went for a walk at lunch to get out of the office for a few and avoided the "food areas" whenever possible. The food itself wasn't too big of a deal to pass up, just because I'm weird when it comes to eating food that other people cook. You never know how clean they are, if they wash their hands, etc. Also, I do not like eating food that's been sitting out for hours. That scares me!! So really, I wouldn't have eaten anyway.

Overall, the juice kept me full. I sipped on some most of the morning, and then finished off my bottle (I forgot to keep track of how many ounces I had) before I left work. I'm sipping on my dinner, now. It's not that bad.

Goals:
My ultimate goal is to lose weight. I think I've packed on a few lbs since I've been eating anything & everything and barely exercising. I hope that this will give me the initial boost to get back on track and back down to where I was.
On the plus side-- I'm eating fresh raw veggies and I NEVER DO THAT! I've never eaten kale in my life & I'm not a fan of celery (I like it in turkey dressing yummm lol). Carrots are good for your eye sight but due to my braces, I can't just eat a carrot right now. This way, I'm getting lots of nutritious veggies & fruits that I wouldn't normally get. I'm pretty happy about that!

My fears:
One word. Constipation!
We'll see....

Another plus:
Energy & I need it!! Since eating garbage recently & seldom getting any exercise, I feel sluggish & fatigued all the time. I frequently take naps after work & I have a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. I even resorted to a 5 hr energy drink to get me through the day last week. That's sooo unhealthy!! So I'm definitely looking forward to increased energy. Maybe the boost of energy will get me back on a strenuous workout regimen...but not while juice fasting, of course.

I plan to blog each day of my journey & hope to make it 7 full days...til Thanksgiving :)

Healthy choice.

Today I went to the Kentucky State fair... Now we all know the fair is known for its fried, fattening foods... A Krispy Kreme doughnut burger, fried Oreos, funnel cakes, Pork Butt on a stick??!!?? Geeeezzz... It's everywhere you look. Now most of that is avoidable for me, as FRIED OREOS don't even sound good!! Yuckkk!!! BUT... With all the smells of food at every turn, it's almost inevitable that you're gonna eat something terrible... & probably "think" you're hungry when you're not! However, I'm actually pretty proud of myself! My family & I ate lunch at the fair, & my food of choice was a grilled chicken sandwich. I would have much rather had my husbands 1/2 lb cheeseburger & fries or my daughters chicken tenders basket, but I did good. AND I felt good about myself afterwards :) its a great feeling!

Accountability is the key to success.

I have been slacking for far too long. I feel like I've gained a few lbs back but I'm scared to weigh. I have used one excuse after another, but my most recent being not just an excuse, but a "reason." I sprained my ankle several days ago and I've had to lay around with my foot propped up. I forced myself to get up & get something accomplished today. Today is a brand new day & it's never too late to start over. It begins here... Blogging... Every day... Accountability is the key to success!!

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

I have now told 3 people about my food addiction. It felt good to just let it all out, and although they can not relate, they have been helpful in listening & helping to talk me through it. I just wanted to hear that I'm not crazy. My husband has offered to find a therapist or someone in this area that I can talk to. I'd rather sort through it on my own first. I don't want to sit down & tell a perfect stranger that I hate my body & I that I sneak food, or that I can eat an entire large pizza by myself if no one is watching. It's embarrassing and it brings tears to my eyes to talk about it. The guilt, the lack of control, the shame... I don't want to talk to someone I don't know. Not now. Not at this point.

I think my eating problems stem from my childhood. I was made to clear my plate at every meal. I could then have a big bowl of ice cream drowned in strawberry syrup with sprinkles on top. Food was a reward. I was also made to eat when I was full, just to get the ice cream I wanted. There were times when my mom would cook pot roast or something I didn't like. I would get a small portion because I knew I had to eat it all, I was hungry, I had to eat something. I remember thinking, •what am I gonna eat?" I know it's healthy to make your children try a variety of foods, but if they truly try them & don't like them, don't force them to eat it!!

There were nights when my mom would be taking a bath & I'd be hungry because we had one of those meals I didn't like. I'd ask my dad if I could make a sandwich. He'd let me but I had to be sneaky about it & not tell my mom. I had to make sure I put the bread away just right, hide my paper plate in the garbage, & clean up any bread crumbs so she wouldn't know.

My childhood was not terrible & I'm not like poor poor pitiful me. I know that my parents did not think they were doing anything wrong, & maybe with a different kid with different brain makeup he or she would be fine. I do not blame them, but I do think that is why I am the way I am today. It's always been there. It's just gotten worse as I've started to diet & limit what I eat. It seems that when I do that I crave food that much more. I eat that much more & then I'm disgusted with myself. It's a vicious cycle.

Putting these words down helps get all these emotions off my chest. Food & I have a love late relationship. I love food & I hate it. I thank you two my wonderful husband & my two best friends for listening & trying to understand my constant struggle. I hope that they help me resist my temptations as I want to beat this... On my own... Without the guidance of a complete stranger with a degree.

It's been a while.

I never like to title my blog until after I finish, as there is no telling where my mind may take me. I begin here with "it's been a while," as it has been some time since I've put meaningful thoughts down, and it's been some time since I've done a meaningful exercise. I don't know what my problem is!!! I want the results but I don't want to work for it!! Why is it that some people can be so thin & eat all the time? Why do I go to bed hungry? It makes me want to cry!

I know everybody is different. Genetics. Gods plan. I get that. I just get so discouraged & I give up. I don't see the results fast enough & I quit. There aren't enough hours in the day. I am absolutely sick of walking. I am burnt out on P90X. Jillian Michaels can kiss my ass!! I need a workout partner & no one is committed! I need to quit feeling sorry for myself & change it but I can't seem to get out of this rut!

I posted something on my Loseit the other day about thinking I have a eating disorder. Not one person commented on it. I was not seeking attention but I guess I just needed someone to talk to... Someone that might understand. I do not know what is wrong with me but I am hungry ALL OF THE TIME!!! I think about food 99% of the time. I over-eat. I love food. I never think I've ate enough. I finish my plate...always... I finish my husbands food. I hide that I'm eating sometimes. I sneak & get something out of the pantry & shove it in my mouth. I do not purge. I could never do that. I just don't know why I am this way with food & I think it has to be some sort of eating disorder!!!! There is something wrong with me!!!! I'm never going to lose these last few pounds or have the body that I want with this constant battle everyday. It's so hard!!!

Trying to get back on track.

I don't know why I am having such a hard time these days. I can't seem to stay motivated and all I want to do is eat. I can hardly find the time to workout, and I have no energy. I think it's stress. I have so much on my mind right now my head is spinning. I hope I can start anew and stick with it starting tomorrow. Goodnight friends & happy losing.

Starting over again.

Today I was good... Until I got home, ate a bowl of vegetable soup & a bologna & cheese sandwich on wheat... Not so bad huh? ...well then I had an urge for something sweet so I went to the pantry & found the brand new pack of Oreo's. Need I say more??? ...I've reallllyyyy got to start keeping fruit around the house again & 0 calorie sweetener packets to add to my water to satisfy my sweet tooth. I've been badddd!! I just told my husband he has to finish the pack tonight or hide them from me. I LOVE Oreo's!!! :(
So anyway... The sharp pains I was having in my right thigh for 2 days has subsided so I'm back to the grind starting tomorrow. I just need to find my motivation!!

Here we go again

I was right in the middle of doing Jillian's 6 week 6 pack and BAM... I started getting a sharp pain in my right thigh. I don't know what caused it, or how to make it stop but it hurts & I'm still limping this morning!!! ...it's not gonna be a good day :(

Can't catch a break.

I vow to get back to the workout queen, Ms. Jillian Michaels. I work out one night, only to wake up the next morning with a stiff neck. Guess I slept wrong. Ughh I don't know why everything seems to be going wrong with me lately?!?

One step forward and two steps back.

As soon as I feel like I've got a handle on my diet & exercise, something happens that sets me back to square one-/ or maybe even negative one! Last week I was unable to exercise at all, and I probably ate fast food 6 or 7 times. It wasn't what the doctor ordered but I was listening to my body and trying to do what I felt was best.

Stress can cause some crazy things. I've had a lot going on... From my father-in-law being diagnosed with lung cancer, to my mom being in the hospital 4 days & 3 nights because of a fall that left a huge gash on her shin that became infected. I've had to deal with people not paying us our money, the office staff/ cheer coach at my daughters school being idiots, posting 6 things on Craigslist all at once & a million people calling (I brought that on myself), a chick that I work with running her mouth about me on Facebook & expecting me not to say anything-/ NOT HAPPENING! -/dealing with a local furniture store in which we bought our daughter a new bedroom suit & when it arrives, two of the pieces are the totally wrong style, 1 piece is damaged and 1 is missing...& after a second delivery we are now left with two damaged pieces & 1 wrong piece and are being told that they are on back order so it will be 2-3 weeks to swap them out!

...the list goes on & on
I kept a severe headache for about a week and even Excedrin Migraine wouldn't completely knock it. I was having lightheadedness & dizzy spells when I would stand up, and I felt sick to my stomach. There was noooo way I could have exercised... I just took it easy, tried to calm down & not dwell on everything going on in my life. I made a dr appointment for Friday but cancelled it because my symptoms were subsiding. I know it was stress, and as things start to come together I am feeling better and better. I hope to get back on track starting tomorrow.

Out of control diet.

Put a cheesecake in front of me & I promise I won't touch it. "Ahh come on, only one piece..." No, I don't need it. "One piece won't hurt you." No, I'm fine. "You deserve it. You know you want it. You'll burn that off in nothing flat. Come on..." Oh okay, one piece. And I eat it. I eat one piece and I want more. It eats at me until I eat more. I continue to eat on the cheesecake until its gone... Not in one sitting, but every time I am slightly hungry.. Because I have tasted it & now I want it, I crave it... I know its bad but I can't help it. I have no willpower at this point. It's kinda like a shark that has tasted blood...
It wasn't cheesecake, this was an example. This is what I battle beneath my own skin. I have the strongest willpower until I give in... & then I can't quit. I need someone to finish off the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer please... Before I do.

Enough is never enough

No matter how long I work out each day, and no matter which works I do or how much sweat drips off of me... I am never satisfied. I always "regret" when I lay down to sleep. I never feel like I've done enough. I don't know why I always feel this way; why I am so hard on myself... I have come a long way & I should be happy with myself but I stay mad at myself instead. I set goals that are uncontainable and way out of reach. I overdo it until I'm so sore I can hardly move. I go back & forth in my head about should I quit or not quit?!? I really feel like a basket case these days :(

Suffering Through This Pain.

Well it hasn't even been a week since I got my braces put on and I'm miserable!! I used the dental ortho wax that they gave me at first and all was good, 'cept I looked like I had big blobs on my teeth and I was about to run out of the stuff. A friend of mine got her braces put on a few months ago and she suggested that I stop using the wax. She said the sooner I quit using it, the blisters will come & go and my mouth will get used to them sooner. So I took her advice...

Needless to say, I have 6 blisters in my mouth and they are very painful!! I have barely been able to eat due to the rubbing & cutting. Being in pain really takes a lot out of ya. I've been trying to stay on my exercise routine & push myself to keep going, but it's sooo hard when all I wanna do is lay around, take pain meds and sleep!!

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm hoping the tenderness will have eased with the rise of the sun. I'm not a baby but this has been unbearable!!

It is hard to be beautiful <3

Happy Valentine's Day :)
This will truly be one I'll remember forever!! ...today I got my braces put on and they said I'll have to wear them for 18 months. They are very weird feeling, to say the least!!!! They don't "hurt" like the spacers did, thank God!! I feel slightly embarrassed at wearing them, though-/ because I am an adult. This is something I've wanted for sooo long, though. I hate my smile/ my teeth. I've always been self-conscious about my crooked teeth and I tried to hide it. I'm tired of that!! I just want straight, pretty teeth! It's time!!! Between working out all the time & trying to get six pack abs, and now this ...."it is hard to be beautiful!"

Disaster week!

It's Sunday, day 7 of my week, and I think I've eaten fast food at least once every single day!!!! Ughhh!!! I'm not making excuses but I am blaming my weakness on my pain. My mouth has been sore all week from these spacers and I have not been on top of my game. I have still done Jillian 4 times so far-/ today will make 5...which is what Jillian recommends, but my eating habits have to get back on track if I am ever going to get on a scale again. Maybe it's all in my mind but when I was clothes shopping yesterday, although the shorts I bought were a size 1, I saw nothing but disappointment in my mid section. I wish the "six pack" wasn't so hard to obtain!!!! :(

Last night...

I had just woke up after about an hour and a half of sleep (it was around 1am) ...coulda been the pain in my mouth, or maybe it was the urge to pee... Or possibly it was the glow of the kitchen light shining into my bedroom...
I get up...half asleep, bumped into my door frame trying to make my way to the bathroom... Glanced into the kitchen where I saw the backside of my hubby ..."you're supossed to be using that little lamp if you need light," I said. (I'm on an energy saving frenzy after the shock of my last electric bill) ...he jumped...startled to hear another voice in the middle of the night. I proceeded to the bathroom, in which I barely made it before I peed all over myself... The hubby follows. As I was making my way back to the bedroom, still half asleep & delirious... He was grinning ear to ear & he guides me to the kitchen to show me the good deed he had just done. He went to the grocery & bought me applesauce, jello, cups of peaches and about a bazillon yogurts, all varieties... All just for me because my mouth hurts so badly!!
...how sweet :D Thought I'd share!

Every day is different.

Some days I am so optimistic & enthusiastic, and some days I just don't have it in me. I get weak. I wonder why some people have to struggle day in & day out to get the body they want when some people don't have to work at it at all. It's just not fair.... But that's life. Either let it get you down or you do something about it.

Yesterday was a great day for me. I saw my orthodontist & I got my spacers put in, and I'm getting braces next week! I am toooo excited! I am 31 years old and I've wanted my teeth fixed for so long now. As a child my parents took me to an orthodontist, but I knew they really didn't have the money so I said no I don't want them. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, and maybe I was, but now I'm ready to get this smile taken care of. I'm tired of always hiding my teeth and my smile. I hate the way my teeth look. My husband said he will do whatever he has to do to make that payment each month. (braces are SO expensive and my dental insurance doesn't cover because I'm over 19 years old) My husband is an auto body repair tech. He does body work for a living, he does body work & paints on the side. He works his full time job, he works part time whenever he wants at another body shop some evenings & on weekends, and he does side work for people. He know how bad I want my teeth fixed and he said he will do what it takes to make this happen for me. He's so good to me :D

So anyway, yesterday (and some today) my mouth was extremely sore from the spacers. There is so much crowding in some areas of my mouth, I can barely floss between... Now I have these huge spacers in... OUCH!! So between the pain, nervousness, anxiety, stress, and feeling like the day was completely messed up cuz I went into work late, I over-ate badddd!! My Loseit is RED yesterday and I don't like it. I'm up over 800 cal for the week and that makes me sad :( its hard to get motivated again when you're so disappointed in yourself, but I hope I can find it in me to do good today, and hopefully I'll see Jillian Michaels when I get home.

Just a little of what is on my mind today...

It's been a long road thus far on my weight loss journey. I started Jan. 1, 2011 & I am still not where I want to be. I'm not discouraged nor am I being negative about what I have accomplished. I have lost a little over 20 lbs., and as one of my Loseit friends pointed out to me, that is equal to the size of an average vehicle tire. WOW!! Coincidentally, last night my husband and I were shopping for tires for his S-10 pickup truck. Out of curiosity I picked one up... & I smiled. Ya see, I am not discouraged at all. The weight that I'm at not is what most strive to be and I do not feel that I am fat. My goal now during this part of my journey is to maintain healthier eating habits & tone what I have. I want six pack abs. I want every ounce of back fat to vanish. That, I know, doesn't come easy, but every time I workout to Jillian Michaels' 6 week 6 pack or The Shred dvd's, I know I am getting that much closer to where I want to be. I will keep going.